At our last Heron Croft Sangha, the topic of discussion was anger.
I myself have had to work with both the anger of myself and others.
At the Sangha I mentioned how I had a profound realization regarding
anger, when I had been doing polyphasic sleeping — basically
voluntary partial sleep deprivation. When my naps were interrupted I
felt extremely furious, such acute anger as I have not otherwise ever
experienced. It came to me then, that this anger had nothing to do
with those that woke me, and everything to do with my own choice to
deprive myself of sleep.
Much like a sauna, when the body or mind becomes accustomed to
handling extreme heat, the ordinary heat of the hot days of summer
seems far more pleasant by contrast. So it is with experiencing anger
from within, or anger from others, once we learn to sit with it, to
meditate through it, we can weather the storm — developing kshanti
(patience, forbearance and forgiveness).
Since moving to Owen Sound a few months ago, there are many things
which are different, many are good. However I have noticed some anger
or perhaps irritation, some that I experienced, was certainly related
to sleep deprivation, the remedy for which was a nap. And some was due
to resistance to change — which was easily enough solved with some
compassionate meditation, accepting impermanence, enjoying the
novelty, and seeing its benefits.
However some of the anger seemed to have no specified cause that I
could decipher. At first I thought it was just an excess of energy in
my system from the extra meditation I’ve been doing, so did some iron
palm exercise to help release it, and help the chi flow into something
more productive. Though it seemed that while that helped for a little
while it would return.
Then I got to thinking how I have interacted with some people which
may have been angry themselves, certainly people have mentioned it to
me. Knowing how we all affect each other through the electro-magnetic
fields of our bodies or bio-energy/chi. So perhaps it is not anger
generated from my experience, but from those of others in the area.
What a wonderful opportunity for Tonglen!
Tonglen is a compassion meditation, where an external suffering is
inhaled, transformed, and it’s remedy is exhaled on the outbreath. So
I did an anger to patience tonglen. While I was doing it, came to me
a vision, of someone who was very angry, they were lying on their bed,
crying and beating a pillow, I could feel my throat sore, as they had
been yelling, and from the contortions of their sobbing. I felt myself
remotely present, accepting their anger energies, mixing them with
Gaia energies, transforming them to patient compassionate energies,
and sending them back. Continued for some time, after a while, they
calmed, and sat up. A wonderful peace was reached, and tapped into
gaia energies to spread the transformative energies throughout the area.
I know I certainly feel much better, and will be using Tonglen in
future for these mystery feelings. For developing kshanti I use a
similar method, it is just easier since it is more noticeable when
someone may have lost themselves to anger that I can see or hear.
Though the insight I have learned more recently is that it works for
some of the more subtle feelings as well.
Certified Meditation Teacher,
founder of Speakable Programming for Every Language (SPEL).
You can use encrypted email with me,
how to: https://emailselfdefense.fsf.org/en/
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